Never attribute to malice that which can be explained by stupidity.
-- Hanlon's Razor
Seriously, I don't want to die just yet. I don't care how good-looking
they are, I! don't! want! to! die!
-- Megazone, Undocumented Features 1
Innovation is hard to schedule.
-- anon.
It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations.
-- JRR Tolkien
It must be remembered that there is nothing more difficult to plan, more
doubtful of success, nor more dangerous to manage, than the creation of
a new system. For the initiator has the emnity of all who would profit
by the preservation of the old institutions and merely lukewarm defenders
in those who would gain by the new ones.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli, 1513
The object-oriented model makes it easy to build up programs by accretion.
What this often means, in practise, is that it provides a structured way
to write spaghetti code.
--Paul Graham
Don't worry about where to land -- by the time you get to it, it
_will_ be flat.
-- concering Orion landing procedures
Do you really think your threats mean anything to me? 'Do this, or you're a
dead man.' Death: been there, _done_ _that_.
-- John Sheridan
Who am I? I am Susan Ivanova, Commander, daughter of Andrei and Sophie
Ivanov. I am the right hand of vengeance, and the boot that is going to
kick your sorry ass all the way back to Earth. I am Death incarnate, and
the last living thing that you are ever going to see. God sent me.
-- Susan Ivanova
Bring a stick to a fistfight. Bring a knife to a stick fight. Bring a gun
to a knife fight. Stay out of a gunfight.
-- Redneck
There is only one human who has ever attacked a Minbari warship and survived.
He is behind me. You are in front of me. If you value your lives, _be_
_somewhere_ _else_.
-- Delenn
"Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them."
-- from Lionel Lauer's .sig
"We thought you were dead!"
"Yeah, I get that a lot."
-- unidentified soldier and Ellen Ripley 8
Trust Ivanova. Trust yourself. Anybody else, shoot 'em.
-- Susan Ivanova
Could you please not eat my gun?
-- Mihoshi
Contrary to popular belief, Unix is user friendly. It just happens to be
very selective about who its friends are.
-- Kyle Hearn
The government which fears arms in the hands of it's people ... should.
-- unknown
There are some days I just _love_ this job.
-- Michael Garibaldi
If you are going to kill me then do so. Otherwise, I have considerable
work to do.
-- Lennier
The law is not meant to protect the idiots.
-- unknown French judge
We won, didn't we? Cope!
-- Mimi, Reality Check #8
Collin was right. Never give a virus a missile launcher.
-- Erk, Reality Check #8
I wanted respect. Instead, I have turned into a wishing-well with legs.
-- Londo Mollari
There is a style of design I call "wishful thinking engineering." It starts
with something like "pigs can fly if you feed them enough beans" and develops
utopian plans such as like having everyone commute to work riding on personal
pigs, and along the way ignores minor details such as the consequent rain of
the non-gaseous byproducts.
-- Vernon Schryver in n.a.n-a.e
The quiet ones are the ones that change the Universe, Luc Deradi. The loud
ones only take the credit.
-- Londo Mollari
To Mess with people's minds is natural. To really screw their
minds over... Well, that requires JMS or Anno Hideaki...
-- from the .sig of Micah D. Potasnik
If I employed software developers and they gave me something like this,
I'd shoot them.
-- Abby Franquemont
I've found that nurturing one's Zen nature is vital to dealing with
technology. Violence is pretty damn useful too.
-- Lionel Lauer
I'm not a violent man, but I really do think I'm going to have to kill
someone here.
-- Bentley, "Masterminds"
By the looks of it, this guy couldn't reproduce himself if he had an
installation wizard.
-- Andreas "Buzh" Skau
Some people have told me they don't think a fat penguin really embodies the
grace of Linux, which just tells me they have never seen an angry penguin
charging at them in excess of 100mph. They'd be a lot more careful about
what they say if they had.
-- Linus Torvalds
You'd be suprised by what you can live through.
-- The Genie
You'd be suprised by what you think you can live through, but actually can't.
-- General Rune
For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public
relations, for Nature cannot be fooled.
-- R.P. Feynman
Nothing is as annoying as a species that refuses to get out of bed.
-- Prof. Waxman
Do you really think I'd let some evil alien race come in, conquer Earth and
enslave the human race? That's _my_ job.
-- A. Bester, B5, roughly
Microsoft is a cross between The Borg and the Ferengi. Unfortunately, they
use Borg to do their marketing and Ferengi to do their programming.
-- Simon Slavin in a.s.r
It's not my job to teach you how to read or to think. If you have a
critical failing in either of those abilities, you will find yourself in
situations where you will look foolish because of it.
-- Sean K. Reynolds
God, root, what is difference?
-- Pitr, User Friendly
All I want out of the Universe is 10 minutes with the source code and
a quick recompile.
-- unknown
If it's a hobby for me and a job for you, why are you doing such a shoddy
job of it?
-- Linus Torvalds
My group's mission statement: You want *what*? By *WHEN*?
-- Simon Burr
From the IS Survival Guide column:
ManagementSpeak: This person is a loose cannon with our system.
Translation: This person actually tries to really use the technology.
-- Martin Butzen
If you'll excuse me - I have fifteen things fighting for my attention, all
of them annoying.
-- Susan Ivanova
The meek shall inherit the Earth; the rest of us, the Universe.
Safety hint, dude ... never, ever get up to go to the john at night unless
you can actually feel your body.
-- Sonya Marie Gildencrantz
We lift off, nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
-- Cpl. Hicks
When a bomb starts talking about itself in the third person, I get worried.
-- Paris
I'm a science officer. It's my job to have a better idea.
-- Dax
Why is everybody trying to shoot me today?
-- Paris
Assimilate _this_.
-- Worf
death.net: because for some problems there's only one solution.
Magic, probability and your lifespan are all related to each other. Those
Mages who forget this simple relation are easy to identify because they
leave behind large craters filled with their remains ( if any ).
-- Kalindra nas Kan
Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves
up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
It may be great to soar with the eagles, but weasels don't get sucked into
jets.
I don't know whether I should be scared or really turned on.
-- Onyx, Skunkworks
Wipe them out. All of them.
-- Darth Sidious
My God, it worked! I must have done something wrong!
-- Windows, any version
If violence isn't solving your problems, you're just not using enough of it.
-- Misato Katsuragi
I guess I'm just an old-fashioned sentimentalist at heart. I refuse to
accept a no-win scenario. I hate the thought of a universe without justice.
If the maneuverings of dark powers can't be exposed and defeated by the pure
of heart, then there's no point in anything. I can't believe that.
-- Gryphon
NOW can I kill him?
-- Leela
Rule #3 from the Official Dom's Handbook says, "Never do anything to a
sub that might squick YOU."
-- Serion Ironcroft, SSBB
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by
killing all those who opposed them.
People who do stupid things with hazardous materials often die.
-- Jim Davidson, alt.folklore.urban
"X is like pavement: once you figure out how to lay it on the ground and
paint yellow lines on it, there isn't much left to say about it. The exciting
new developments are happening in things that run ON TOP of the pavement,
like cars, bicycles, trucks, and motorcycles."
-- Eugene O'Neil
You were right about one thing, Master. The negotiations _were_ short.
-- Obi-wan Kenobi
I won't go postal. I'll go FedEx. When you absolutely, positively have to
kill everyone overnight...
-- Marillion, FurryMUCK
Oops.
-- Shannon Foraker, Ashes of Victory
Man, if you were serious you wouldn't be pointing those things at someone
with the power to give you double-D sized breasts just by clicking his
nicotine-stained fingers.
-- The Doctor, Authority #15
It takes intelligence to appreciate wit, humor and sarcasm, but none to
be offended by it.
-- Johnny Hart
I will meet the terminally clueless today, idiots, and those with hairballs
for brains, and those whose ears need a good shredding before you can even
get their attention. I do not have to be like them, even though I would dearly
love to hit them hard enough to make the empty places in their heads echo...
-- Rhiow, Chief Gate Technician,
Grand Central Station
There are mushrooms that can survive weeks, months without air or food. They
just dry out and when water comes back, they wake up again. And call the
helldesk about their password expiring.
-- Jens Benecke and Tanuki the Raccoon-dog
Remember: every member of your 'target audience' also owns a broadcasting
station. These 'targets' can shoot back.
-- Michael Rathbun to advertisers
in n.a.n-a.e
Posting to ASR should be like juggling armed, impact-fused multi-megaton
warheads. You *really* don't want to screw up.
-- Shalon Wood, a.s.r.
There's nothing wrong with the gene pool that a little chlorine won't fix.
-- unknown
Glad you're mending, but next time, shoot first. Why should I have to tell
that to a Sicilian?
-- DonSideB, s.s.b.b
Oh good, my dog found the chain-saw.
-- Lilo
"You might say that. Or you might say that, as a tac officer, he needed four
astro fixes, a hyper log, approach radar and a dirtside flight controller
with full computer support just to find his backside with both hands. On
a good day."
-- Adm. Honor Stephanie Harrington
Lex: Which tank is it, Doyt? I see four.
Doyt: Mine's the one whose barrel isn't tracking you guys right now.
-- Schlock Mercenary
Doyt: Jevee, could you pick off a hardened target cleanly, no collateral
damage, at this range?
Jevee: Of course I could. Any weapon, any time. You know that.
Doyt: Next question: are you really so stuck on yourself that you think the
guys I trained can't?
-- Schlock Mercenary
I really hate that girl.
-- The Annointed One, B:TVS
Well, I promised the Doc we'd take him alive. So when you blow him to
Hell, save one of his legs so we can say we tried.
-- Marine CO, Jason X
Well, I will tell you something, kiddies: anybody so incredibly deluded
and naive as to believe that the right to free speech equals a right to
evade consequences or a right not to grow up has no business making fun
of people who merely think that they're dragons.
-- postvixen, LiveJournal (edited for content)
I don't think of it as revenge. I think of it as expressing my gratitude
by returning the favor.
Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival!
-- W. Edwards Deming (1900 - 1993)
He may not be a god, but on this ship _I_ _am_.
-- Rommie
Leadership through following the right grunt. It's one more hallmark of
a lieutenant who won't get shot by his own men.
-- Schlock Mercenary
Todd Knarr <tknarr@silverglass.org>